You Gotta Roll With It: How to Handle Wedding Day Mishaps

Planning a wedding is without a doubt one of the most complex life events out there.

Even a small registry office wedding or elopement requires multiple moving parts. And if you opt for a hotel or do-it-yourself-style wedding then the complexity amplifies exponentially. It’s tremendous fun, and there’s nothing more satisfying than standing during your wedding day thinking, “Yep, this is absolutely perfect. We did this.”

But here’s an uncomfortable truth you have to remember: your wedding day will not go 100% to plan.

Again, it won’t go 100% to plan.

And I’m not saying that to scare you. Instead, it’s to let you prepare for the inevitable hiccup so that you can, as Oasis drawled, roll with it.

The Inevitable Hiccup: Accept the Unpredictable

We’ve all seen the perfectly curated wedding albums, the flawless smiles, the golden hour glow. But the reality of a wedding day is a whirlwind of emotions and logistics, and sometimes, things go sideways. The weather might decide to throw a tantrum, the flower delivery might be late, or the best man might misplace the rings (yes, it happens!).

It's crucial to acknowledge that perfection is a myth. Instead, embrace the beautiful chaos and the genuine moments that arise from the unplanned.

So, what do you do if things go a bit squiffy? Here are some useful strategies for getting yourselves back on track.

Delegate and Conquer

Let’s say something relatively minor goes awry. In my view, you – the happy couple – definitely shouldn’t have to attend to it. In an ideal world, you wouldn’t even be told about it! Why else do you have a wedding party, best men, bridesmaids, venue coordinators, celebrants, wedding planners… you get the idea.

Nominate someone as your ‘there’s a wee problem here’ point of contact, so you don’t get troubled with the minor things. Let your nominated person pick up the slack - they won’t mind!

Your role, genuinely, is to turn up relaxed, look amazing, get married and enjoy yourselves. That’s the job description. So when issues arise, don’t hesitate to enlist the help of your wedding party or venue staff. They are invested in making the day a success and are often better equipped to handle logistical challenges.

Wedding Party: They know the couple intimately and can help gather people for group shots, relay messages, and manage minor crises.

Venue Staff: They are familiar with the venue’s layout, resources, and procedures, making them invaluable for resolving on-site issues.

Take a Breath

More rarely, something of a bigger scale can go wrong. This can lead to a bit more stress and, naturally, the couple might be aware of it and get involved in resolving it.

So, to get around this – move away from the centre of things with someone who can fill you in accurately on what’s happening. Take on whatever information you need, then don’t be afraid to take a brief time out together to get your head around it and work out your response.

Step away, take a few deep breaths, and regain your composure. This allows you to assess the situation calmly and make a clear-headed decision. Fundamentally, the wedding has to wait for you, so if you need five minutes to meditate, scream into a pillow, smoke, whatever – do it. It’s your day.

Find a Quiet Spot: Even a few minutes of solitude and fresh air can make a world of difference.

Refocus: Remind yourself of the beautiful day you’re having and the importance of being relaxed.

Prioritize: Decide which issues are truly critical and which can be managed later.

Laugh It Off: Embrace the Imperfect Moments

Ultimately, weddings are about celebrating love and joy. And sometimes, the funniest, most memorable moments arise from the unexpected.

A bridesmaid being dropped on the dancefloor, a venue coordinator calling the couple by the wrong names, a sudden downpour during the outdoor ceremony – these are the stories that will be retold at family gatherings for years to come.

When Tina and I got married in 2024, we thought we were all over it. We had a planner, spreadsheets, myriad lists. Tina was walking down the aisle to ‘Dreams’ by the Cranberries. And we’d worked out that for Tina to arrive at the top of the aisle by a particular lyric, she had to set off from the bottom of Kelburn’s walled garden just as Dolores O’Riordan sings “a different way to be” at 1:28. We practiced it several times at different walking speeds. We thought we were all over it.

Then, just before they set off through the garden, her dad’s shoe disintegrated. This meant they set off late, missed their cue and took longer. I was facing the opposite direction so I had no idea what was going on, while JP, our celebrant, was giving me a commentary: “Don’t see them yet! Still no sign! Oh, here they come but they’re moving quite slowly!”

All the planning and preparation and we were undone by something we could never have predicted. So what else can you do but laugh it off?

The risk in wedding planning is that by putting together something so complex and detailed, you become hyper-sensitive to any small aspect that goes wrong. But using the advice above will hopefully let you take stock and be objective about how big any issue really is.

Your wedding day is an adventure. It should be one of the most fun and exciting days of your lives. By accepting the unpredictable, delegating effectively, taking time to breathe, and laughing it off, you can appreciate the beauty of the day, even when it takes an unexpected turn.

And that’s probably the first and only time I’ll ever quote Oasis on this website, so enjoy it.

Planning your wedding right now and looking for a photographer? Get in touch and let’s arrange a coffee and a chat.